Couple breaks up after women’s underwear found in boyfriend’s house
A few days later, your ex-boyfriend sends you an “Actually…”
A female college student attending Chung-Ang University’s Seoul campus shared a story on the anonymous community platform Everytime. The story revolves around discovering a woman’s underwear in her boyfriend’s apartment, leading to a breakup, but later receiving a message from him and contemplating getting back together. The incident raised the question of why her ex-boyfriend had women’s underwear in his possession.
Upon asking her ex-boyfriend about the underwear, he initially claimed to have been cheating and apologized for his actions. They subsequently broke up. However, a few days later, the ex-boyfriend sent her a KakaoTalk message, expressing that he hadn’t been unfaithful. He admitted that cross-dressing was his hobby and felt embarrassed, so he tried to hide it. He also confessed that he wanted to continue their relationship and explained that he had sent the message due to that desire. He even showed pictures of himself dressed in women’s clothing on a cosplay internet forum to prove his explanation was true.
In response to his message, the poster asked fellow users, “What should I do?”
Other users commented, “It’s funny that he claimed to have cheated instead of revealing his cross-dressing hobby,” and “Maybe he still has feelings for you.” The original poster replied, “I might forgive him. After all, cross-dressing isn’t a crime.” In response, another user expressed frustration, saying, “Some people can date crossdressers, while I…”
Individuals who enjoy wearing clothing of the opposite gender are often called crossdressers. Many people believe that male crossdressers are gay, but in reality, the majority identify as heterosexual. They don’t experience gender dysphoria like transgender individuals; they find joy in expressing themselves by wearing clothing traditionally associated with the opposite gender. The motivation behind cross-dressing often revolves around fulfilling an idealized vision of femininity that may be difficult to achieve in everyday life.
Even in Korean cinema, there are instances of male characters who have a hobby of wearing women’s clothing. One example is the movie Festival. In this film, the character Oh Dal Soo becomes enamored by lingerie’s delicate and soft texture while planning to gift it to his wife, leading him to wear lingerie and indulge in fantasies secretly.
According to Jun Ralynish, a professor of psychology and mental health at Indiana University, many women in the United States live happily with men who have a hobby of wearing women’s clothing. Ralynish notes that in many cases, women actively support their partners’ desires, buying them lingerie and helping them embrace their feminine side.
By. Chae Suk Won (jdtimes@wikitree.co.kr)
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